SACRED TERMS OF JPEG BIBLE:
“DIVINE PREAMBLE”
Welcome,
Digital Pilgrim:
to the hallowed pixels of JPEG BIBLE.
By accessing the compendium of compressed wisdom, one enters into a covenant not merely legal but spiritual in nature. These terms transcend ordinary agreements, binding both your cursor & your consciousness to our pixelated scripture.
ARTICLE I: DEFINITIONS OF THE DIGITAL DIVINE
"JPEG BIBLE" refers to our Sacred collection of all compressed visual scriptures."Digital Pilgrim" refers to you, the seeker of visual enlightenment & use.
"Visual Communion" describes the act of viewing or posting content to the digital scape known as the internet using software and devices worth connecting.
"Compression Artifacts" acknowledges the beautiful imperfections inherent in our medium(s).
ARTICLE II: THE COMMANDMENTS OF USAGE
Thou Shalt Respect Copyright: All images contained within the JPEG BIBLE remain the intellectual & spiritual property of their creators. Unauthorized reproduction is both legally forbidden & karmically inadvisable.
Thou Shalt Not Screenshot in Vain: Sharing is permitted only through our divine tools respecting wisdom of use. Direct screen capture or secondary communications circumvents our blessed analytics—acts diminish the collective experience.
Honour Thy Compression Quality: We present images in the quality deemed devoutly appropriate. Complaints about resolution are considered heretical.
[Context may not account for content.]
Mind the Watermark & Keep It Holy: All JPEG BIBLE notions shall remain intact, for they are the visible blessing upon our visual offerings.
Covet Not Higher Resolution: Thy JPEGs are compressed by design, embracing the beautiful limitations of the medium. PNG seekers and RAW zealots must find enlightenment elsewhere.
ARTICLE III: ACCOUNT SACRAMENTS
Your JPEG Bible account is a personal shrine.
The Digital Pilgrim agrees to:
1. Maintain the sanctity of multiple login credentials.
2. Accept responsibility for all actions performed under account. (?)
3. Undergo the purification ritual of two-factor authentication when prompted.
4. Never share account access with unaccounted users; such account is yours.
5. Attempt personality.
ARTICLE IV: COMMUNION CONDUCT
While engaging in Visual Communion with the JPEG BIBLE, Digital Pilgrims pledge to:
Respect fellow viewers in glance–
Refrain from uploading forbidden formats!
Accept that image loading times are moments for reflection, not frustration.
Honour the Sacred aspect ratio of all provided content (if possible).
ARTICLE V: THE RITUAL OF DATA COLLECTION
We collect passive data as temples collect offerings, inherently so. One bets browsing patterns, viewing preferences & download history are incense to algorithms. This information is used to understand surface behaviour: the mind is an operator!
ARTICLE VI: ABSOLUTION & LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
The JPEG BIBLE & its Pixel Priests absolve themselves of responsibility for:
Spiritual crises triggered by particular existing images.
Contemplation(s).
Excessive bandwidth consumption.
visual ecstasy!
Eye strain resulting from prolonged communion.
[With apologies to affected communities. Please call 902-221-**** for further information].
ARTICLE VII: AMENDMENTS TO SACRED TEXT
As Digital Pilgrims, one reserves the right to alter terms as new revelations transpire. Digital Pilgrims will be notified of significant changes through:
1. Divine notifications.
2. Updates at the sacred scroll.
3. Occasional social periods.
ARTICLE VIII: DISSOLUTION OF THE COVENANT
JPEG BIBLE may dissolve this covenant at any time:
Pilgrims 'may' undo...
JPEG BIBLE may excommunicate users who violate terms without warning.
NOTE: Account subjection does not release either party from obligations incurred during the period of communion.
ARTICLE IX: "GOVERNING PRINCIPLES"
Redacted.
ARTICLE X: THE FINAL PIXEL
By browsing, this acknowledgement designates competency, confirmed use & personal spiritual considerations by these Terms. Visual Communion constitutes acceptance of Sacred pixels & their life forms.
Last updated: On the right day two months after May, after lingering (5) years, in the year two-thousand and twenty-five, when the resolution was high(est) & the file sizes modest.
JPEG BIBLE: Time-Space Compression Is Designating ‘THE’ Path to Digital Enlightenment.
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